Let the past go or else

I'm so sick of being blamed for crap that happened years ago before I was even a twinkle in my daddy's eye.  I don't care what color I am.  I am NOT responsible for slavery.  I am NOT responsible for Jim Crow.  I owe you NOTHING.

Every African American I've ever come across seems to think the white man owes them.  That everything wrong in their life is white people's fault.  Not only is that stupidly wrong, it's incredibly detrimental.  Why?  Because scapegoating doesn't address the REAL issues.

Blaming white people may feel good.  It may make you feel better about yourself.  Go ahead, burn down your own neighborhood if it helps you feel important.  But it doesn't do a damn thing.  Blaming white people doesn't CHANGE anything.

Black folks have had plenty of opportunities to change their lives for the better and didn't take them.  They won the right to vote and didn't use it.  They won the right to an education and still have the highest drop out rate in the country.  They can be doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, cops.  Whatever they want to be.  All they have to do is work for it.

And a lot of them understand this.  They made something of themselves.  Kudos.

But a hell of a lot more are sitting in the hood, smoking their weed, gang banging with their pants falling off their asses, rap music blaring, living off welfare, unable to use proper grammar complaining about how oppressed they are instead of doing anything about it.  And I don't mean burning down the hood because that's stupid.  YOU LIVE THERE.

No, what I mean is they aren't interested in getting an education.  They want to be ballers, rap stars.  They may take honest jobs to pay the bills, but that's it.  McDonald's is as far as their expectations go.  Like the Civil Rights movement was a giant waste of time.

For the record, my ancestors were poor Italian and Irish immigrants who came to this country years after slavery ended. They never owned slaves.  Know something else? They were discriminated against.  Ever see an Irish person?  They're white.

If you're not going to take responsibility for your actions, it's not my fault.  Stop making excuses. Stop assuming my family owned slaves.  In fact, stop rubbing my face in slavery period.  I never owned slaves. You never were a slave.  We don't forget the past, but we can't live in it.  It keeps us from moving forward and if we don't move forward, we die.  Cuz life only moves forward.

Time to stop blaming everyone else for your own shortcomings and do something to improve you life. Only you can improve your life.  But first, you have to let go of the past.

Put down the smart phone!

I appreciate my cell phone.  It allows me to communicate with people without having to physically track them down.  It's a lifeline in an emergency.  It's something to occupy me when I'm bored waiting for the bus in the morning.  I like being able to Google something when I need to know it.  I don't have a problem with cell phones per se.

I have a problem with people never putting them down.  When I'm trying to have a conversation with my sister and she's checking Facebook every five minutes, I have a problem.  So... I'm not as important to you as some cat meme?  My feelings do get hurt when someone picks their phone over me and so should yours.

When you can't go more than hour without touching your phone, you have a problem.  Smart phone addiction is real.  Just look around you.  EVERYONE has it.  And there's NO etiquette when it comes to phone use because the addiction is just too strong to put them down.

I hate when I'm trying to check out and the person in front of me is super slow because they're on their phone instead of paying attention to checking out.  It's not just wasting everyone's time.  It's rude.  You're supposed to be polite to your cashier.  Not ignore them.  They're human beings. Show some respect.  And, hello, how do you know if there's an error if you aren't paying attention?  You could be getting screwed but glad Lakeesha got that VD cleared up.

And that's perhaps the rudest thing of all.  People have NO sense of what should be discussed in public and what shouldn't.  Why are you telling everyone Lakeesha has VD?  No one wants to know who in your life is sleeping with who or the details of your proctal exam.  They call them private things because they're meant to be private.  It's rude to prattle on about stupid stuff to an unwilling crowd.  Save it for when you're in private.

Driving and cell phone use is deadly.  It kills people and it's stupidly insane how people need to be constantly reminded of something so fricking common sense.  People don't just carry on their rude conservations.  They text them.  They post them on Facebook.  It can wait!  When you're in the car, focus on driving.   Don't even answer the phone until you're parked and it's safe to do so.  Put it in the back seat if you have to.  That cat meme?  Lakeesha's VD?  They aren't worth your life and they damn sure aren't worth mine.

People have actually been known to post to Facebook that the building they're in is on fire BEFORE leaving the burning building.  One of the easiest ways to stalk someone is by their posts on social media.  Smart phones are the number one thing stolen in the United States.  It's insanity.

I don't know why people engage more with smart phones than with other people.  Society is falling apart and technology, once our savior, is now destroying us.  I do know this though, it does the entire world good when we put our phones away and look around us.  When we talk to eachother, we understand eachother.  When we understand eachother, we get a long better.  The number one treatment for insomnia is to turn off electronic devices at least two hours before bed.  Especially smart phones.  That should tell you something.

And stop telling the world your private business.  We don't care.

On Evolution

Ah the things you discover when you have insomnia.  So I was surfing YouTube and found this random link that claimed black Africans were better than other races because they were more pure genetically.  I've heard for a while that the oldest signs of human life were found in Africa, but what this video suggested was that this meant all human life on earth ORIGINATED in Africa.

I don't think we have sufficient evidence to say definitely all human life began in Africa just because the oldest life we KNOW of was found there.

But this idea that Africa is the cradle of life is so accepted that no one questions it and black people either wanting to feel good about themselves or to stick it to white people are using this belief to say they are more important than everyone else.  Some claim Africans were the original inhabitants of North America, not the Native Americans we know of who apparently came from Asia and enslaved the original black inhabitants.  Some claim that black Africans were the original Israelites, not the Jews who came from somewhere else and enslaved the black Israelites.   Black people just keep getting enslaved, don't they?  These theories may make you feel proud to be black, but are they really true?

Reading the racist comments left by black viewers made me cringe.  It was bad enough the video called lighter skinned people an "invasive species" but then for so many viewers to suggest that every race that is not distinctly African is genetically inferior is just plain hateful.  I didn't think black Nazis existed until I happened across the movement claiming all life came from Africa.

I didn't leave a link to the video in question.  I have no desire to spread that level of hate and ignorance.  Instead I did a little research on the African origins movement and found a scientific research paper discussing possible theories for why lighter skin evolved in humans.  The writers of the paper also assumed that all life began in Africa.  They cited evidence they found in their research which suggested some 80,000 years ago or so Europeans were all black migrants from Africa.  They then theorized on why our black ancestors got pale.  A lot of vitamin D apparently.  I put the link for the paper at the bottom in case you needed a laugh.

Here's the problem I have with this whole thing.  Say all human life really did begin in Africa.  Say black people really did come first and all life on earth was black and humans only evolved lighter skin as they migrated to colder climates in order to survive.  Let's say black people are more genetically pure than other races.   Does that really make other races mutations?  Or does it really mean that black people aren't as EVOLVED as other races?  If we take the African origin theory as gospel truth, then blacks may have come first but lighter skinned people evolved into something better.  And according to the laws of evolution, species who adapt live while the species who doesn't adapt becomes extinct.  Meaning eventually black people will die out as all inferior species do.  I don't know about you, but I have a problem with that.  I simply refuse to believe that black people are the original humans and everyone else is a more evolved cousin.  Seems kinda hateful, don't ya think?

I don't know how accurate the theory of Africa being where humans began really is.  I'm not here to tell you it's right or wrong.  I'm saying there's no way in hell we can know with any certainty where the first human like creature originated and we should be wise enough not to assume a theory is fact.  I do know that, contrary to what blacks want to believe about human origins, whether or not we started in Africa, black people are NOT more pure or any better than anyone else.  They are NOT the chosen of God any more than any other race is.  Why do so many think God is as racist as they are?  Or that God made us all different just so he can have a chosen people?

Look, we're all human.  We're all the same.   That's what matters.  No theory is going to change that.  Read the paper if you want, but don't pretend you're better than me because your genes are more African than mine.  That's just racist garbage.

http://m.livescience.com/7863-people-white.html

Communication is essential

I'm sick of people bitching when I comment that immigrants need to learn English when moving to an English speaking country. It's not racist, you morons. It's not anti Mexican.  It's common frickin' sense.

You HAVE to be able to communicate with the people around you.  Communication is so important we invented sign language for people who can't speak so they'd be able to do it too.  It's not a racial issue.  It's not to penalize spanish speakers.  It's FOR YOUR BENEFIT.

Say there's an emergency and you need to tell the paramedics what's wrong with your loved one so they don't die.  If you don't speak the language the paramedics do, you can't tell them anything and your loved one could be toast.  Say there's some sort of disaster and you walk right into because you didn't understand what the people warning you were saying.  Not knowing the language everyone else is speaking can be potentially disastrous.

But it's not just emergencies.  It's every day life.  You struggle through basic stuff like checking out at the grocery store or registering your kids in school.  Traffic stops, trying to ask what bus you need, ordering food at a restaurant, renting an apartment.  How can you get your point across if you're relying on your five year old to translate?  If you don't know the language, you don't get far.  It's that simple.

And stop with the memes about how someone who speaks broken english is better than me because they know a second language. I speak broken spanish, that doesn't mean I'm always able to get my point across. If you're not fluid enough to hold a coherent conversation, you don't really know the language.

And stop telling me I have to make concessions for Spanish speakers because they're our closest neighbor and such a large portion of the population.  First, we have immigrants from all over the world who speak languages other than English or Spanish. If you're not willing to translate signs and what  not into ALL the languages spoken in the US, don't tell me to make concessions for Spanish.  That's not fair to everyone else.

Don't move to my country and tell me I need to learn YOUR language.  You're in MY country.  And don't even mention Native Americans. The past can't be changed, but we speak english here now and that's the ONLY thing relevant in this conversation.

And don't criticize me for pointing out the hypocrisy of making me do something for Mexicans that Mexico isn't willing to do for me.  It's the truth and if Mexicans aren't willing to learn english and have english tv stations in Mexico, it isn't fair to demand an English speaking country accommodate them.

And by the way, few countries make concessions like the US does for immigrants who don't speak the native language.  So don't tell me I'm not being fair.  That's how the world works.

Some countries even make it MANDATORY to learn their language prior to being allowed to immigrate there.

Communication is essential to life.  If you can't communicate, your quality of life sucks.  But if you really want better for yourself, you'll make it a point to learn the native language.

Parents don't deserve sympathy

I don't care how hard and frustrating you find parenthood.  The simple, unflinching truth is, it's your bed.  Only you have to lie in it.

What parents need to understand is that unless you were held captive and forced to breed against your will, no one made you have kids.  Even an accidental pregnancy doesn't mean you have to be a parent.  I don't mean abortion though if that's your choice, so be it.  But there's also adoption.  The point is, you don't have keep the baby, but if you choose to, then you are responsible for that decision.  Therefore you and you alone are also responsible for the consequences of that decision.

That means if you're unhappy that you can't go out and party like you use to, oh well.  It means that I don't care how expensive diapers are.  I don't care if your two year old is throwing a tantrum.  I don't care if you never have time to pamper yourself or use the bathroom alone.  I didn't force you to have kids.  You chose to. You deal with it.

And I'm not required to feel sorry for you because you feel sorry for yourself about your decision to have kids or to baby you when you complain about your life or your stretch marks or to tolerate you when you berate me, mock me or publicly try to shame me for not being awed by your perceived awesomeness.  So you gave birth.  Any idiot with a reproductive system can give birth.  Dogs give birth.  Procreation is not that awesome. It's just fricking biology.

I don't have to be a parent to recognize a bad one and parents that bitch and moan about how hard it is to be parents suck at being parents because they don't understand what being responsible for a child really means.

It means the child comes before YOU. It means YOU don't care if you get to go out like you used to, if you don't have as much privacy, if your two year old throws a tantrum or how expensive diapers are.  Your child is everything and you sacrifice everything for your child.  There's no sacrifice a few things and still maintain a vibrant social life.  The kid comes before YOU in everything.  You give up everything for your child for the forsee able future.

And it doesn't mean dragging the kid places YOU want to go.  It means limiting where you go to places that are age appropriate for your child.  The child comes first until they are all grown up and moved away.  That's the price you pay for being a parent and since you CHOSE to become a parent, it's the price YOU CHOOSE to pay.

And you don't have to be a parent to get that.  You just have to be a good human being.

So no, I'm not giving parents any damn sympathy.  I didn't make you have a kid.  I refuse to be held responsible for it.

Some Words On Words

Words are complicated things especially in english where the same word can mean different things.  For example, "bear" can either mean a furry woodland animal or what you think you can physically or mentally handle.  Sometimes the same sounding word can change meanings depending on how you spell it.  "Bare" sounds EXACTLY like "bear" but means empty or stripped down.

You have to be able to comprehend the meaning of SENTENCES, the words AROUND words, in order to interpret what a singular word means.  In other words, you can't take things out of context.

This happens all the time though and everyone does it.  We hear a snippet of someone else's conversation and think we know their life story.  We hear a sound bite and think we know what the person means.  Sometimes we may even be right but more times than not, we're wrong.  The word "assumption" starts with "ass" for a reason.  People who assume are asses.

Perfect example in my personal life involves the time I inconveniently hummed.  I was taking in my surroundings with pleasure and zoning out into my own thoughts as I'm wont to do.  This caused me to momentarily hum a little tune.  My sister, who was with me at the time though occupied with her son, took my humming to mean I was bored.  She was offended and though I tried repeatedly to explain myself, she refused to hear it.  To her, my humming could only mean one thing and I was in the wrong.

Bear, bear or bare?

Eventually she dropped it, but I haven't forgotten how it made me feel to be taken out of context and not allowed to defend myself.  It made me wonder how often I did it.

How many people hear of a police shooting these days and automatically assume the cop was in the wrong?  How many times has an incomplete story caused the public to vilify someone later proved to be innocent?  How many sound bites taken out of context have swung political elections?  Hillary emails anyone?  Romney's 99%?

It's easy to do the same thing to others that my sister did to me.  It's easy to be an ass and not even realize it.

But the world is a better place when we give people the benefit of the doubt, when we don't take sound bites at face value, when we take time to investigate the context before we get mad.  When we don't condemn someone without knowing the full story.

Never repost or retweet something without knowing the context.  Never respond cruelly to a post or a tweet without asking for clarification from the person who made it.  Never assume that you know what another person is thinking or going through.

In other words, sweeties, don't be an ass.

The REAL reason rap rarely wins a Grammy

Nicki Minaj recently got all pissed off because a rap song about how great her butt implants are didn't win a Grammy.  Think about that.  It was a song about her ASS and she honestly believed that it deserved a Grammy.  What an ego!

I'm sick of folks crying racism because rap music doesn't win the same amount of prestigious awards that other genres do. It's not about race and you're racist for thinking so.  Beyoncé's pretty black and she's won Grammies.  Rhianna is black and she won lots of awards even after she went all ghetto.  Black artists have been winning awards in music for a very long time proving that race isn't the factor modern rappers want it to be.  Racism is just an excuse rappers use because they're sore losers.  So why doesn't modern rap win more Grammies?

Because it SUCKS.  Songs that win awards should be songs that actually say something.  Songs that make statements get awards like Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise", for example.  That was a rap song, by the way.  Some awards are based on popularity like, well, anything by Beyoncé, but let's be honest about what that means.  The nominees have to be popular ACROSS populations and not, as is the case with most rap these days, only in the ghetto.

Let's take an honest look at modern rap though.  EVERY RAP song is about the "playa" trying to have sex or about drugs or shooting people or, in the case of Minaj, a soliloquy on how awesome the rapper thinks they are.  Your large ego doesn't make your song good, Nicki.  And a lot of rap can't be played on most radio stations because every other word is a sexual reference or a swear word.  I can't listen to something when most of it has been bleeped out and neither can most people.  Radio is still how most people discover new music.  Only a handful of dedicated stations  (those that cater solely to black audiences) have the willingness to play music as racy as what 90% of modern rap is.  Some rap is so racy it can only be found online.  This means a good deal of rap doesn't find a large enough audience outside the one community it's made specifically for to even make it eligible for a Grammy.  Rap today isn't designed to be inclusive of other ethnic groups the way it was when it was new.  Rap today is made solely for the hood where it has its largest fan base.

And then there's the kind of person who makes rap.  The rap persona is basically a recruitment ad for street gangs.  Rappers have to appear hard or thug. They sag their pants, use bad grammar, are disrespectful to others.  They're combative.  Violence goes hand in hand with rap.  East coast, west coast anyone? Tupac and Biggie? Why promote this kind of behavior?  In general, rappers don't appear to be very savory people and for audiences that don't like violence, this is a big turn off.

As for the fans of rap?  They live and breathe the rap persona and all its detrimental attributes.  They adopt the bad attitudes of their role models because rappers have money and it's all about the Benjis in the hood.  Fans crave money and respect and see rap has a way to get it so they emulate rappers in the hopes of following in their footsteps. That's why they play their music too loud, why crime and gang violence are so out of control in black neighborhoods.  This means that in the eyes of most people, rap is associated with crime and bad things in general.  The wanna be thug of hip hop culture is DESTROYING the black community, but they must hate white people too much to admit it.  Better role models could do wonders.

There's a reason rap dominates low income areas.  Only a certain kind of low intelligent person likes trash and most rap is trash.  The problem isn't the Grammy Awards.  It's that anyone actually LIKES modern rap.  The detritus of modern entertainment (non rap included) speaks volumes about how stupid our society has become but rap is a beacon of all that it is wrong with the world.

Back in the day, maybe rap meant something.  Rap was used as a forum for the black community to speak out against injustice.  Now the only thing the black community seems to care about (judging by its music) is sex and weed.  Wil Smith, arguably the most celebrated rapper of all time, didn't swear in his songs and he was popular with pretty much EVERYONE.  Why have modern rappers turned away from their heritage and embraced songs about their asses instead?  Where have all the intelligent rappers gone?

Trash doesn't win awards and it SHOULDN'T.  If today's rappers want to be taken seriously, they need to make better songs. End of.